Ask-theCrusaders: Vocational Death Cruise Novelization
by MarcelineFan
Summary: After finding three mysterious letters inviting them to a new theme park called the 'Vocational Death Cruise', the Cutie Mark Crusaders set out on their latest adventure. But they're about to get more than they bargained for... Courtesy of the 'ask-thecrusaders' Tumblr blog and the Tumblr contest 'Vocational Death Cruise'.
1. Prologue and Day 1

_**Vocational Death Cruise **_**is a Tumblr contest that started two years ago. The first time I saw this contest was on 'ask-the crusaders', ****so that's the one I decided to novelize. Plus it's really interesting. According to the Tumblrpony wiki:**

_**"The event began with hundreds of pony blogs being sent a mysterious letter inviting them on a free cruise, with a massive prize available for one attendee. Nothing suspicious there...**_

_**VDC players are given a series of goals by the not-terribly-mysterious Santalestia , and as the cruise proceeds, the quality of recent health and safety inspections is called into greater and greater question. Who will live? Who will die? Will anyone actually be able to leave once they collect the prize money?"**_

**If you haven't read the 'ask-thecrusaders' comic version of this, go check it out! But for now, it's disclaimer time!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony or Vocational Death Cruise. The former belongs to Hasbro. This version of the latter belongs to 'ask-thecrusaders', and the contest is hosted by the Tumblr blog 'vocationaldeathcruise'. **

* * *

Chapter 1: Prologue and Day 1

"Okay then! That's what we got."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders hung out in the watch tower of their clubhouse, doing various things. Apple Bloom was looking through a telescope at the night sky, Sweetie Belle was using a laptop, and Scootaloo was investigating three letters that the three fillies found during an incident with a mailpony. The letters didn't have the names of the senders or the recipients, so the girls thought it was a good idea to take them. Each letter read:

_Dear Sir and or Madam,_

_If you are receiving this message, congrats! You are one of a lucky few who has been chosen to preview Santa's most recent theme park, Vocational Death Cruise. As you should know, Vocational Death Cruise is spinoff of Santa's world famous Death Tol Park,the popular roller coaster _guarenteed to give you a scream (tm). _Now you have the opportunity to try Santa's newest attraction for free. This seven day island cruise with a stop at the new Death Island will allow you to enjoy the comfort of a relaxing beach cruise with the thrill of an amusement park. Santa herself will be there to act as you tour guide and show you the rides, the casino, and the sharks. If you're still feeling hesitant, did we mention there is a prize valued at over 200 bits for one lucky shipmate? Don't be shy, come aboard. The ticket is enclosed..._

_Thanks for joining us!_

_Santa's Helper_

"Three identical letters," Scootaloo said. "It must be a sign! This is amazing girls! We simply _must _join this!"

"But there's a problem!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed. "Ponyville doesn't have a dock! How do we reach the Cruise if we don't even know where the sea is?"

"Hmm...I know rivers always end up meeting the sea." The pegasus looked over to Apple Bloom. "Apple Bloom! In which direction does Ponyville's river flow?"

"To the Everfree Forest!" the earth pony replied without looking away from the telescope.

"So we have to go _this _way!" Scootaloo pointed to the south of the compass rose on a map in front of her. "To the South!"Apple Bloom turned her attentiom from the telescope to the pegasus.

"I have a plan! But we need a compass!" Scootaloo informed. Sweetie Belle raised a hoof.

"Uh! I'm on it! I just need four Iron Ingots and some Redstone Dust!"

Scootaloo stared at the unicorn silently before saying: "You have to stop playing Minecraft."

* * *

_The Next Day (Day 1)_

"Perfect! We're heading south!" Scootaloo said as she looked at her compass watch. She and the other Crusaders wore helmets and their saddle bags, while Apple Bloom carried a blue duffel bag on her back. The pegasus herself was sitting inside of Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon, with two ropes connecting her with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo pointed a hoof forward. "NOW LET'S GO!"

"Ehm..Scoot, for the hundredth time..." Apple Bloom began hesitantly as Sweetie Belle lit the fuse with a match. "I don't think this is such a good ide-AAAAH!"

The earth pony was interrupted as the cannon blasted the three fillies into the air.

_30 Minutes Against Gravity and The Laws of Probability Later (with Pinkie Pie's cannon anything is possible)..._

"LOOK! THE SHIP!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed. Down below them was the ocean, and a large cruise ship was sailing through. "WE MADE IT!"

"WE ARE COMING!" Scootaloo shouted while Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked petrified. The girls made a crash landing on the ship into an unsuspecting pony.

"Just...in time...!" the pegasus muttered in a daze.

* * *

**Well, even though I don't own this story, I say I'm off to a good start!**


	2. Day 2

**Okay, here's a quick recap! (Note: These will most likely show up before each chapter, regardless of whether or not I have something important to say.)**

**The CMC accidentally received three identical letters inviting them to a cruise and took up the offer. Despite Ponyville being far from the ocean, they managed to find and get on the cruise ship by using the power of Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon.**

**Let's see where our little adventurers ended up, shall we?**

* * *

Chapter 2: Day 2

"I can't believe we're already here!" Scootaloo said from her spot in the gondola lift she and her friends were in. Below them was an amusement park with its most notable feature being a waterfall running between two large green hills.

"Is that a factory over there...?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Who cares about the factory! Look at the size of that waterfall!"

"L...look at the height..." Apple Bloom added nervously.

"I hope this ride will end soon..." Sweetie Belle muttered while clutching her hooves between her hind legs. "I need the bathroom..."

The girls were suddenly alarmed by a loud _clonk_, followed by the cable car stopping.

"OH COME OOOONN!" the frustrated unicorn yelled.

"...Why is it stopped now?" Scootaloo wondered. Apple Bloom looked at the pegasus with both her pupils and her irises shrunken to dots, startling Scootaloo slightly.

"DON' WORRY! DON' WORRY! WE'RE NOT GONNA FALL!" The panicking earth pony grabbed Scootaloo and shook her back and forth. "DID YA HEAR ME?! DON' PANIC! WE'LL ALL BE FINE!" Apple Bloom stopped her shaking, only to scream: "EVERYPONY STAY CAAAAAAAAALM!"

Sweetie Belle opened her saddle bag, reached inside, and pulled her laptop out with her teeth. "While we wait...we could answers some of our followers questions (the CMC have internet and a Tumblr)... Also, I hope they'll give us a room to put our stuff in it. We just can't carry our bags around."

"WE'RE ABOUT TO POSSIBLY DIE AN' YA WORRY 'BOUT THAT?!" Apple Bloom shouted.

The unicorn opened the laptop. "Okay...I think we got some questions... Let's answer them. So I have not to think about going to the bathroom... Those are for you, Apple Bloom..."

"...?" The earth pony looked at the screen and read the two questions in her head:

_greghorst__ asked you: Apple Bloom, are you afraid of heights?_

_Anonymous asked you: applebloom are you afraid of heights?_

"...NOOO WAAY!" Apple Bloom yelled sarcastically. "WHAT IN EQUESTRIA GAVE YOU THE HINT?!" She returned to staring down at the ground in fear.

"...There's another one: _How did you ended on a Ferris wheel, when you 3 were on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean?_" Sweetie Belle read.

"Actually, it was a pretty fast trip," Scootaloo explained with her head on a metal bar. "Now we're here at the amusement park. The ship crashed but whatever..."

"Another question: _I think it might be a good idea to calm Apple Bloom down first. Maybe holding her and whispering that everything will be alright might help?_"

"...Nah." At that response, the unicorn moved on to the last question.

"Oh, there's something for me, too! _Hey Sweetie Belle, don't look at that running waterfall over there! _Huh?" Sweetie Belle did the opposite of what the request said. She suddenly bit her lip, then her hind legs started quivering. Finally she snapped, catching her friends' attention.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOREH! WHY DOESN'T THIS DUMB THING MOVE?! I NEED THE BATHROOM ALREADY!"

"HEY! STOP COMPLAINING!" a male voice from behind shouted. "YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S WONDERING WHY IT STOPPED, YOU KNOW?!"

Sweetie Belle stood up in her seat and peeked behind the cable car at the stallion while shaking a hoof in anger. "YOU WANT ME TO STOP COMPLAINING? THEN COME HERE AND MAKE ME! OH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T BECAUSE WE'RE STUCK IN MIDAIR!" The furious unicorn's movements were causing the entire cable car to shake.

"SWEETIE BELLEH!" Apple Bloom yelled. "FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, STOP MOVINGH!"

"WHOA WHOA WHOA! CAREFUL THERE!" the stallion said and stuck out a hoof for emphasis. "I'M JUST TELLING YOU THAT BECAUSE YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE."

"I KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE, YOU GENIUS!" Sweetie Belle retorted.

"Would you stop this thing already?" Scootaloo asked calmly. "You're getting annoying."

"YOU'RE ANNOYING!"

"WHAT THE FLANK IS WRONG WITH YOU NOW?!" Apple Bloom blurted out. At this outburst, the unicorn seemed to calm down and took her seat. She was silent but soon responded.

"...I need to pee pee so _baaadlyyyyy_…" She then turned to face forward and pointed ahead.

"Hey!" she called. "Ask the pony in front of you if he knows why we're stopped! If not, tell him to pass it on!" There was no response. Sweetie instantly got mad.

"HEY! WHAT'S THE MATTER?! TOO SNOB TO REPLY?! HUH?!" Unbeknownst to the unicorn, the mare in the cable car before hers was sound asleep and snoring slightly.

"HEY! HEY! HEY!" Sweetie Belle shouted. "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!"

"HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!" The unicorn glanced off to the side as the stallion from before piped up.

"HOW DOES THAT FEEL?! HUH?!" he yelled. "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!" Sweetie Belle gritted her teeth and turned her head in the seat. Then the two engaged in a screaming match.

"HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!"

"HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!"

"HEEY! HEEY! HEEEY! HEEEY! HEEEY!"

"HEEY! HEEY! HEEEY! HEEEY! HEEEY!"

Scootaloo's eye twitched as she gritted her teeth, highly annoyed. Finally the exasperated pegasus couldn't take anymore.

"SHUT THE *buy some apples* UP ALREADY!"

* * *

"Eight… Hours…" Scootaloo grumbled. "Blocked up here for… Eight. Hours." The gondola lift still had not moved, and the sky was colored purple and orange as it came closer to sunset.

"I… I can't take it… anymore…" Sweetie Belle whined.

"Shut up. Just shut. Up."

"..." The unicorn opened the laptop in her lap with tears in her eyes. "I… I guess I should just stop complaining and… answer some questions…" She read the first question.

_"If you need to go so badly just go over the edge. Nopony will judge you. _W...What...?" The next questions made her blush madly.

_Anonymous asked you: You know Sweetie Belle, if there isn't anyone down there you could just 'let all flow'_

_Anonymous asked you: Sweetie Belle just pee off the ledge don't worry we won't look._

"No, no, no, noh!" the unicorn protested. "It's too embarrassing! I can't do such a thing!" She moved on to the last question.

_matty-adventures asked you: Open the floodgates!_

Sweetie Belle's whole face turned tomato red as she clenched her eyelids shut and shed some shameful tears. "I...I...I..."

Suddenly an image of a running faucet on full power flashed in her mind. The unicorn grunted as she finally released her bodily liquid. The fillies looked up at the sudden familiar _clonk_, and the cable car began moving once more.

"It's moving again!" Scootaloo said in relief. "Finally!"

"HAH! YES! YES!" Apple Bloom, whose hair had gotten disheveled as she stared downward with fearful eyes the entire time, cheered. "WE'RE SAFE!" Sweetie Belle continued to look up at the cables holding the car angrily.

"OH, YOU GOTTA BE BUCKING KIDDING ME!"

* * *

"I can't believe you peed yourself..." Scootaloo stated as the three fillies walked through the forest, baggage in tow. "That's just…weird."

"…I'm sorry…" Sweetie Belle muttered as she had her head and ears lowered in shame.

"Oh, c'mon! There's nothing to worry about it!" the pegasus assured.

"Yeah, ya received lots of virtual hugs an' kind words from our followers an' anonymous ponies!" Apple Bloom added. The distraught unicorn was silent.

"We still love ya!" the earth pony told her wholeheartedly.

"Of course!" Scootaloo agreed. "Just like a sister!" Sweetie Belle smiled.

"Thanks girls...I love you too." Sweetie Belle brought her head up again.

"So where are we going again?" Apple Bloom inquired.

"To the hotel," Scootaloo replied. " And we gotta hurry since the sun is setting." The pegasus stopped and pointed a hoof in another direction. "Let's take this shortcut!"

"...Are you sure that's a shortcut?" Apple Bloom asked in concern.

"Why, what else could it be?" Scootaloo counter-questioned.

"Couldn't it be… I don' know… A longcut?"

"Don't be silly! The map says it's a shortcut! I'm hungry and I want to reach the hotel right now!"

"We ALL are hungry, Scoot…"

"See? Then what's the problem?"

"Nevermin'…"

The three fillies didn't seem to notice that they had started walking in a wide patch of strange blue flowers.

"Lemme see that map, Scoot," Apple Bloom requested.

"No way!" Scootaloo refused as she held the item in question in her hoof. "_I'm_ the leader and the leader has the map!"

The earth pony raised her eyebrows intimidatingly. "...You're what?"

The pegasus glanced at her for a second before pushing the map in her direction. "Here, have a look."

Sweetie Belle looked off to the side seemingly in discomfort. "Girls… Am I the only one who feels like we're being watched…?"

* * *

**Let me tell you, next chapter is when things get weird. And maybe dramatic.**

**According to the comic, any 'H' that doesn't belong is used for emphasis, so grammar Nazis, please hold your fire.**


End file.
